its true;

no one reads my blog and i find it hard to remain interested in it for long. but do we cease to exist because no one looks at us? if a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, did it fall/exist/philosophy? etc etc.

i am pretty sure that tree question is bullshit. of course the tree fell. humans acting as though nothing happens if we arent the instigators is another reason animals dont talk any more.

the last blogs i wrote were written in autum, a time of sun and carelessness, and today is one of the last days of winter. it is raining again. this seems like it should take on some meaning for me but it doesnt.

i also feel like i should have an actual topic i want to talk about, but i dont. once again i'm pretty sure the only reason im writing a blog is so i don't have to do uni work. i'm supposed to be writing a presentation for gender studies about why women are hard done by 24/7, always have been always will be, and why men suck and why its all their fault that kittens die etc etc etc. to be honest i do not care. i sit in that class and want to slit my wrists, listening to the bullshit propganda the tutors tries and to instill in us. i wish i was a mad feminist and got fired up about womens rights and WHATEVER, but again, i am fine with my own selfish view of the world in that i like the rights i already have; and do not feel the need for personal change. so meh.

the only dilemma i have right now is who i am going to shanghai into coming to town with me tonight; my usual loose unit friend has a kidney infection but went out drinking last night anyway; now she is not allowed to go out because she is very very sick, and also an IDIOT.

and the reason her kidneys are fucked and not her liver is because her liver is already fucked from alcohol so they have moved onto her kidneys. and she is 19.

i shall take her a pretzel in a symbol of sympathy and exasperation